As the country is mesmerized by the news of Osama's death, it’s important to think about how to discuss the event with children, and how to explain the complicated notion of leaders as heroes or liberators. When events like this sweep the news and conversation, it’s a perfect time for parents and educators to engage children on the topic of heroes, role models and leaders. And of course, this episode brings to mind many American citizens who have been crowned national heroes —from the firefighters and police killed on 9/11 to the Navy Seals who stormed Osama’s compound—displaying courage, conviction and patriotism.

These men and women deserve our admiration. Unfortunately, given our cultures obsession with violence, wealth and power, it’s often easy for children to confuse status for heroism. Not long ago, I was talking to my 7-year-old niece and she mentioned a well-known teen celebrity with troubling awe. I asked her what, exactly, she admired about this person. It led us into a wonderful conversation about the qualities and characteristics that we admire. That conversation became the backdrop to my children’s book: The Hero Book: Learning Lessons from the People You Admire. Here are some tips on helping your child identify positive role models that I gleaned through writing and reading to children.

1. Turn it upside down. When you talk to children about their heroes or role models, ask them first about the qualities and traits that they admire in people. By focusing on the attributes of heroism allows them to view people in their lives through the lens of those qualities....

Read more at my blog at Forbes.com here: http://blogs.forbes.com/ellensabin/