The following is a quest post I wrote for 1uponcancer.com…

The Power of a Second Opinion

Hi folks, this week I’m happy to introduce Guest Blogger, Elyn Jacobs, a Cancer Coach, with  homegrown experience …

This week I was I was asked to talk on a radio show about my story and my role coaching survivors.  I was asked how I felt about my diagnosis and how I reacted to it.  First let me say, I am a rather take charge person, so my first thoughts were to find the best team and to come on board as an active participant in my care. Relinquishing care and passively following orders is a dangerous plan.  Think of the power when you say “This is what I am doing to beat cancer” as opposed to “This is what they are going to do to me.”  Thankfully I had an amazing frontline team and was directed to wonderful surgeons.

The first doctor was a lovely older man; but so grave as he explained that I would need a mastectomy, and that he could suggest a plastic surgeon for reconstruction.  He offered no other options than to take away this part of me, this slice of my femininity. For one of the first times in my life, I was speechless. My husband and I were in shock. Yes this doctor was knowledgeable; he was kind, but I left his office feeling anything but empowered, and that did not sit well with me. 

We went on to the second surgeon; ah, the power of a second opinion. The doctor walks in, and his introduction to me?  “First, Elyn, let me say that you are going to be fine.  Here’s what we can do. We can do a mastectomy, and by the way, do you wear bathing suits or evening gowns?  I’m actually smiling now, and when I tell him I am a bikini girl he moves on with Plan B. "Fine, then I will go in via the bra line and no one will see the scars."

I speak up, tell him I would also like to keep my nipple if possible.  Wouldn't you know he has just returned from a symposium on nipple conservation, and likely I was a candidate.  These procedures will require us both to spend a little longer in the OR. But I will be without my cancer and with beautiful breasts.  I'm digesting all this as he offers to bring in the plastic surgeon now, so I don’t have to come back for another appointment.  My husband and I look at each other and say, “He’s our man; he’s our ticket out of this mess."

She's wonderful, and we discuss reconstruction and implant options.  I leave empowered, feeling a huge weight has been lifted and confident that I will come out of this event whole.  At home, I start to think about my calcifications and all that we talked about. I have two small boys and I want to be a bit more aggressive; I call the surgeon and tell him:  I want him to do both breasts. No problem; he'll take care of everything.   While I know that having a bilat does not guarantee that my cancer will not return, it gives me peace.  I am in charge.

For me, a second opinion meant more options and the ability to regain control. For others, it may offer confirmation of the suggested protocol.  Doubt will bring fear and stress, which are not conducive to healing and survivorship. Confirmation allows you to go forth with confidence.  You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by gathering information and actively participating in your care.

I was extremely fortunate in finding the right team.  And through my experience, I found my new passion.  I wanted to be the voice.  I wanted to make sure that all women were heard by their doctors and received the best possible care. I wanted to empower them with information and support them to make choices that fit their own individual needs while sparing them the doubt of others. I wanted to help others get past their cancer and into cancer-free lives. I became a cancer coach.

I will not say that getting sick was good for me, but because of it, I am now the advocate I always wanted to be.  I knew I had the compassion and drive to bring others to a life of wellness and to make a difference in their lives. A bonus is that helping them heal has helped me heal. I thought I was tough when I was a broker on Wall Street, but I am stronger and with more purpose now.

Cancer, you may have disrupted my life, but I will win.  I will take from you what you do not deserve. And I will not allow you to destroy others.

 
In good health,

Elyn Jacobs

elyn@elynjacobs.com

elynjacobs.blogspot.com

elynjacobs.wordpress.com

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Elyn Jacobs is President of Elyn Jacobs Consulting, Executive Director for the Emerald Heart Cancer Foundation, a certified cancer coach and a breast cancer survivor.  Elyn helps women diagnosed with cancer to navigate the process of treatment and care, and educates to prevent recurrence and new cancers.