I feel very honored and humbled to take part in two ceremonies this coming weekend - ancient ceremonies from the people who lived here first.

As I've gotten ready for these ceremonies over the last few weeks and months, I've struggled to do everything right, to do all the things required of me. I put tremendous thought into the process, worried whether I would be able to complete the tasks, and wondered what awaited me on the other side of these ceremonies.

Then first my health started to present problems. Then it was my friendships, that seemingly out of the blue disintegrated. Next it was my teachers, most of them, who seemed disinterested in my process and I felt alone handling these challenges. Then my business stalled. Those were the "normal" things. I also had some mysterious weird stuff happen too. A car window that of its own accord went down and refused to go back up. Things that went missing, and then ended up right in front of me. Emails that were sent but never received. People I don't even know, offering to tell me what's wrong in my life.

After a while, it became obvious that all of this was associated with the ceremonies. But to what end? What was going on and how could I make sense of it?

When things fall apart pay attention. It is you telling yourself something. Turns out I had alot of things I had been storing up for the right moment, when I was receptive to hearing them. Most of those things had to do with old ways of being, tools that were once useful, that I no longer needed.

This is how they're released. We have to bring them up, and have one more really good hard look at them. If your friendships are disintegrating, maybe they were always rocky but now you're able to see why and to face it and fix it or let it go. If your business is stalling maybe you aren't doing the thing you love and were born to do. It could be time for a small course correction or a major exit off that highway. If you study with certain teachers and feel less and less connected to them, maybe you're giving yourself permission to seek out new teachers.

In the end when we ask for our heart's desire, do we really expect that we will get it without some major surgery happening in our life?

Be grateful for the answers you're getting as you pursue your dream and try, please try, to remember not to be attached to how you get there. In my experience, what looks like a disaster is often a great gift.