So - I had the cunning idea of starting up my own business using my background at BBC and my one and a bit years of experience at the hedge fund masquerading as a private equity fund. During my 'lost in hedge fund space' year I had already been thinking about combining the two ex-careers. Indeed having witnessed the difficulty funds had raising money and meeting committed investors, there seemed to be a gap in there somewhere. So I went off to Barbados for some thinking time? Which turned into drinking, thinking time...which turned into a lot of debt piling up and the seeds of an ambitious business plan.

During my focused thinking sessions on the beach, I had previously been approached by another fund to come and do 'marketing' for them, and whilst in Barbados this fund re-introduced the suggestion. Before leaving for this thinking/drinking time I had convinced them I thought my coming back to marketing wouldn't be in the best interest of either party (in fact, during a fine lunch at The George in Mayfair with the CEO I was adamant I would be truly awful in another fund marketing role). I blubbered to the CEO at the time saying I didn't have the confidence and I certainly needed some handholding and structure if I was to go back into marketing hedge funds. Plus, I knew I had the seeds of a very interesting business that would fit within media and alternative assets and this was really where my passion and heart lay. But with Napoleonic type bravado and encouragement I was again assured from my soon to be new CEO, that structure, education and team work would be the order of the day and the company was fully committed to building a long term relationship and career for both of us. So I was sent through a job offer (a good £20,000 less than what I had been on I hasten to add). And convinced this was potentially a big opportunity to fulfil my rather flimsy financial dreams I said yes (that and the fact my credit card debt was so red, Valentino could have designed a whole new colour palate around it). So back I traipsed to the old country to start my new role at the new fund. 

I should have realised that (aside from the rather insulting pay packet), when it was suggested on my first day they weren't sure on what role to start with, but perhaps I could start with a senior managers PHD, the promised structure was going the way of the pyramids in the 21st century. I appreciate the moral bastardisation of doing someones PHD but I genuinely thought I was 'helping' with the research. I really was horrified, but I was so in debt at this stage that I trampled on my usually rock solid morality and got on with the 'research'. I still can't believe to this day that I felt obliged and scared to start a role in this manner, I was convinced if I didn't do it I wouldn't get the job and then Mr Debt Man would be chasing me around Hyde Park with dickens whips and chains. I had arguments with friends who pointed out the obvious and discussions with family who were appalled, and yet I still couldn't see a way out of the debt.  

Anyway - after this introduction I was bizarrely still optimistic that I could do great things for small monies.