Sunday, January 31, 2010. I hope you will share Mary Ellen's spectacular story with everyone you know. I was blown away.


Major Milestones and Turning Points:
My grandfather, Bubba, was the first person whom I truly loved to pass away. On the day of his funeral, I began to think about the impact Bubba had on my life. Looking out at the people from all different walks of life who had gathered for his service, I was reminded of the core principle that Bubba stood for: to always accept people for who they are, regardless of race, social standing or education. It is honoring this “Bubba Principle” in my own life that means the most to me. It’s easy to say that you live by a certain principle; it’s another thing to stand firm when that principle is tested. During my junior year at Harvard, I met “Doyle.” He was funny, smart, and full of life. In many ways, he reminded me of Bubba. Doyle and I fell in love. I was excited to tell my parents about my new relationship however there was a problem; I am white. Doyle is black. The difficulty of this situation may not mean much to those with backgrounds that are different from mine. However I am from the rural South, a place where Confederate flags still dot the landscape and stories of the Ku Klux Klan linger in the midnight air. However, I believed that my parents, as much under the influence of the Bubba Principle as I, would support my choice. When I told them, my mother burst into tears and my father lashed out in a bitter diatribe on my moral wrongness. I am an only child and my parents are my best friends. Their response took me aback. At that moment, I realized that I had a choice. I could potentially sacrifice my cherished relationship with my parents or stand firm in my beliefs. I chose the latter. In the months that followed, I have never felt so alone. My only comfort during this time was that I knew I had been true to myself and Bubba’s legacy. After months of silence, my parents and I began to talk. Gradually they were able to understand that they too shared the Bubba Principle and that they had allowed cultural norms to cloud their judgment. I have never been prouder of them or myself as we navigated this sensitive time in our relationship. For me, I learned that I am a person guided by my principles. My parents were reintroduced to the principles that Bubba taught and in the process gained a new found respect for the daughter that they had raised. The following year, I drew upon this experience and chose to write my senior thesis on the influence of race on religious identity in my hometown. In visiting many of the town’s 65 racially segregated churches, I saw how the history of racism had infiltrated not only society but also the pews of local congregations. Each church had the same mission to aid the community but each had allowed racial divisiveness to impede unified action. Emboldened by my commitment to the Bubba Principle, I worked with many of those I had interviewed during my fieldwork to convene a summit where over 100 citizens gathered to express their feelings on race. Just as the process with my parents had been challenging, the conversations that day were emotional but honest. Witnessing this catharsis, I saw long festering wounds begin to heal. Now the Bubba Principle had not only infiltrated my home, but also my community. As I contemplate a long term future in the field of public service, I know that I will need to call on the Bubba Principle repeatedly. Politics has a funny way of bringing out prejudices in even the most open minded people. However, as Bubba used to say, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.” Bubba’s example has given me the core principle that I stand for. Testing it has given me the courage to fully know myself. Sharing it with my community has shown me the transformation that principled leadership can achieve.